Tuesday, July 26, 2005

a sphincter say what?

So it's late late -- or early (early) rather, and I'm still awake pondering. It's not the heat keeping me up (no excuses); I now have an evil machine of death (aka ac), and besides that, the nightimes are feckin' gorgeous. No, it's back to the eternal problem of what to do with my life. I can't just disappear into the woods and live as a hermit (in my woody little hermitage) -- that would be a cop-out. I want to do things that help. But lately, I've also been tempted by (meeting and greeting) new and wonderful artistic muses. There are so many wonderfully creative, talented people around that I want to stand up and add my voice to the chorus. Seriously, it sounds a bit lame, but I just have this feeling of: "Oh me too! Think of all the cool things I can do!"

Now, my conundrum. Are these two things compatible? Can I really help, can I really give something, or do something meaningful to/for the world through art (or even through other means for that matter)? Or is it merely a self-important, self-indulgent exercise in self-gratification?

haze

Am I giving myself too much credit?

(Only five people know the answer to that question)
inspire me

4 bric à brac

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Karen, I totally sympathize... I spent the whole of my 20s wrestling with that question. Personally... in the end I found it was actually physically painful not not do art. I don't know you well enough to have any clue of what the answer might be for you, but I'll tell you where I am now: Do the things that move you, that inspire and challenge you, that you ache to do. Try, also, to live a lifestyle which reflects the values you hold most dear (I think you're on top of that one). Try to be a positive force in the lives of those around you, and be kind to people whose paths you cross. Don't forget that making a difference in the world can also mean helping people to be comfortable in their own skins, and to know their own value. So many of the evils our society perpetuates come from the cheapness our lives can seem to suffer from, and our ravening desires to validate ourselves by consuming all we feel we "deserve". Honestly, if you try to live a life you can believe in, you will make a difference, even if your career is not in the field of World Saving. Use the gifts you have, it really is not selfish to do so; art is essential to the human spirit. Um... okay, way too long, but that's my 2 cents. :)

5:54 AM  
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