Thursday, July 14, 2005

a sad thought

I've come to the conclusion that if this heat wave lasts any longer, I'm going to crumble and buy an air conditioner. I've had it. My will is gone. I'm wracked with guilt and contradictions at the idea, but this heat is stealing my life. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't think properly. I'm angry, irrational, unhappy. I'm exhausted, but just laying in bed is excruciating. Tears threaten when I think of facing the next week like this. Or maybe many summers to come like this. I know the air conditioner will only make things worse in the longer term (adding to energy consumption, adding to emissions, and smog, and etc. etc.) but in the short term, I seriously feel I'm losing my mind. I feel weak for caving, but I feel helpless in this weather.

Reading headlines about heat related deaths, energy over-consumption, and climate change doesn't help.