life like this (belated posting of this post)

Spending christmas with all manner of family just compounds this feeling of great expectation that I have come to associate with this time of year. I long for it to be over: like an annoying itch, I can't scratch or it'll get worse, so I can only douse it in ointment (the alcoholic kind) and wait it out. I long for more reasons to celebrate like this through the rest of the year, and less cramming 'everythingspecial' into one short period of three days. Plus it reminds me of how much i don't fit in with my kith and kin. Although they are entertaining weirdo's (see fig. 1) in their own ways, despite great efforts to appear as normal as possible. Alcohol trumps these efforts (see fig. 2)


fig. 1


fig. 2


fig. 3


fig. 4

Seeing my l'ilcousin (see fig. 3) and my nutty aunt and uncle (see fig. 4) made me feel a bit more ok. I like those ones. they're my kind of kooks; they give me hope that I'll turn out ok, even if I screw up occasionally. Unfortunately, my dad doesn't see things this way (though I thought we were past our 'adolescent' days). He still yells when I run late; tells me I'm selfish; and criticizes my art and desire to pursue it more seriously.

Maybe one day I won't need external validation (??) For now...here I be.